you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
