I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
