**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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