Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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