im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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