i wish my penis had a tongue
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
