your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
