My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize