did you get engaged???
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
