He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
