You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
