in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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