You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize