i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
