Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
