No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
