i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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