Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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