I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
