I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
