you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
