My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Randomize
