I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
