He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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