if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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