3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
