My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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