at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
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