the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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