I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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