it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
