So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
