New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
