I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
