I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
