She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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