Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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