dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
