the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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