what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
