Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
