she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im holly from the hills drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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