just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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