we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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