we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
