Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
