Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
