it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
