"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize