please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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