I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
