Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
