He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
