Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
