sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
